25 Books of Christmas

I wanted to share with you a simple and fun Christmas countdown that I'm doing with the boys! I saw an idea similar to this on Pinterest a while ago and decided to take it on.

We will be initiating the 25 Books of Christmas countdown.
Each day in December, from the 1st until the 25th (Christmas), the boys will open one book that we will read together. It will be a tradition for years to come and can be adjusted as the boys get older.

25 BOOKS?! Isn't that expensive? Well, it definitely can be expensive, but if you don't mind garage sale-ing or thrift book shopping, it doesn't have to be. A few of the books that I am using are Christmas books that we already owned and have only read once or twice. About a third of the books are used books that I bought at garage sales and used books stores. It's also something that you can get the family involved with! I had a few family members that were excited to help us out and buy some of the books for the boys! With the help from family and buying used, my total costs were under $40. To save money in the years to come, I will use most of the same books, but add a few new ones to keep it fun.

I decided to use a majority of Christmas themed books and a few others. You could use any genre of books depending on your kiddo's interests. Since my boys are young and I will be reading the books to them, I leaned towards fun, interactive books and easy reads.

At the end of this year's edition of 25 Books of Christmas, I will post some feedback and a completed list of the books that we used!

I will do my best to share the book that we are reading each day and Eli's opinions of them.
If I can get my Instagram feed incorporated into this blog, then you will see the daily posts here.
If not, just follow me on Instagram: @captaintay

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Letters to Eisley | 2.16.13 |

Disclaimer: I pray that you would see the struggle, the fears, the thoughts and the feelings that I had at the time and know that they were legitimate. Also know that I am extremely grateful for all of the blessings the Father has given us. Including our boys. Yes, one of the greatest desires of my heart is to have another daughter, but I love both of our boys with every thing that I am. I didn't want to leave words out in fear of someone thinking wrongly of me or my intentions. I want to be real.

It's been a while.

The holidays were extremely hard without you.

I still have a hard time going somewhere. Not having to, or getting to, care for you...making sure we have everything that we need. Every time we leave the house, I have that feeling that I'm forgetting something. It's because I don't have you.

Not too long ago, Dad and I found out that we're going to have another baby. I'm so scared and excited. I can't go through this again. What if it's a boy? What if I never have another baby girl? I know it's silly to worry because God has blessed us. I feel like it should be a girl. I don't want to get my hopes up, but they are already up. I never longed for a daughter so much... until we found out that you were a girl. Now that I don't have you, my heart aches for a daughter even more.

I miss you so much... every day.

Today was a really hard day for me. I was thinking of you all day and of my grandpa, your Great-Pappy. His health with ALS is declining rapidly. We plan to go see him; we leave Thursday. We are just praying that he makes it until then.

I heard my Chris Tomlin song (I Will Rise) as we drove Nana to the airport. I could only think of you ( as I do every time I hear it) and of how Pappy will be joining you soon. You will have some good laughs with him. I hope you dance with him too.

I have never longed for Heaven more than I do now. I'm jealous that Pappy will meet you and Jesus before I will.

I love you, baby girl.

You're a big sister!

xoxo Momma

read the previous letter here

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Letters to Eisley | 11.30.12 |

I got through my birthday without crying! 

That doesn't mean that I wasn't sad though.

God just really protected my mind and gave me great strength yesterday. I got to relax all day and had a nice dinner with our family.

It was a good day. 

Today I bought a shadow box to put some of your things in. Daddy and I will put it in our room so that we can always remember the time that we got to spend with you.

I still can't believe this has happened.

It seems like such a blur.

It seems like ages, yet it's been four weeks.

I miss you, love.

xoxo

Momma

read the previous letter here

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Letters to Eisley | 11.29.12 |

Today is my birthday.

It's such a hard day.

I don't really know how to celebrate because you should be here.

You should be sharing this day with us.

Perhaps you would have been born today and we would share and celebrate this day forever.

I miss you so much, Eisley. It's not fair that I have to miss you. Especially today.

I'm just thankful that God is taking care of you... and all of us.

Know that Daddy and I love you very much.

We miss you like crazy.

xoxo

Momma

read the previous letter here

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Letters to Eisley | 11.15.12 |

It was two weeks ago today
that I gave birth to you.
Yesterday we went to the funeral home to arrange things for your earthly body. It was really hard for me. I constantly have to give you up. I don't want to. It's not fair.

We bought you a special dress to be dressed in and sent a blanket and family picture along with it.
I also printed out a picture of you from the first time I held you. When I hold the picture, it's almost like I'm holding you again.
It's such a perfect picture that's a perfect reminder that you are now forever perfect.

I hate that you're so far away.
I miss you so much and I really can't wait to see you again soon.

xoxo
Momma



read the previous letter here

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Letters to Eisley | 11.7.12 |

It's been a week.
A week since I felt you move.
A week since we found out you were gone.
This week has been hard and very strange. I miss you, baby girl. I miss you, Eisley Mei.
I never knew that I could experience so much pain and heartache, but at the same time, peace and joy. There's no better sight than the one that the Lord showed me as we left the hospital, empty-handed.
We had to say goodbye, but he showed me your spirit. What a beautiful and perfect girl you are! It's amazing to see you dancing. I only wish that I got to see it in person every day.
My hope is in Jesus and that I will dance with you someday in the presence of our Savior and Heavenly Father.
Of course there have been times that I think of how it could be different. The pain in my body is a constant reminder of the labor I went through, yet I have no baby here in my arms. We had been planning and waiting for you for over 34 weeks. It's so weird to go through labor and childbirth and not have you here to care for. But I find comfort in the fact that you are perfectly cared for in a place where there are no tears and no pain. I cannot wait to meet you in that place!
Today has been hard, easier than I expected, but still hard. I had to go back to school today. Life doesn't stop for anyone or anything. I feel like I'm being shoved back in. I don't want to have to keep moving, but I do.
It's not going to be easy.
I will miss you every day.
I will miss you until I meet you in eternity.

You have all my love, Eisley Mei.
xoxo
Momma



read the intro to this post: here

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Letters to Eisley | intro |

This series will be letters that I wrote shortly after losing our daughter, Eisley.
They are few.
They are short.
They are the cries of my heart.

I hope that these letters will bring to light some of the thoughts and emotions that parents feel after losing a child. Those very real emotions that are, far too often, swept under the rug as we're told to "move on."

If you have every experienced the death of a child, whether it be miscarriage, stillborn, infant/child death; I hope that these letters will help. I hope that they will show you that you are not alone in what you are feeling.

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Starting off on a weird note...

I thought I would start off my blog with a little weirdness about myself. I was homeschooled from Pre-K through high school. Here are results of a little quiz that I took to show just how "homeschooled" I was.

// You know you're a homeschooler if...

Growing up/now 
[x] Own/have owned a denim jumper 
[x] You were at least 13 when you got your first "trendy" haircut 
[x] Everything in your closet at some time was referred to as modest 
[ ] You do/have tucked things in that shouldn't be tucked in 
[ ] You have been a member of at least 3 co-ops 
[ ] Your mom drives a van of some sort 
[ ] You have at least one childhood picture where you, your mom, and all you siblings matched 
[ ] You are/were/will be a PSEO Student 
[x] At some point in your life you were more comfortable with adults than kids your own age 
[x] Have studied ways to defend your beliefs, debate, and/or create laws 
[x] Used uber conservative ABeka curriculum 
Total: 6 

[ ] You use big words that most adults could not use in conversation 
[x] You can use the words sublime, epiphany, and cognizant correctly 
[x] You have a favorite word. 
[ ] You have an understanding of Latin root words and how to use them 
[x] People from the outside world are referred to as "public schoolers" 
[x] You or one of your siblings knits. 
[x] You laugh at the decline in literacy in America 
[x] You score constantly higher than "public schoolers" on standardized tests. 
[x] You have no concept of cafeteria food 
[x] Family vacations are/ can be referred to as "Field Trips" 
[x] Traveling on said vacations have included stopping at historical site markers along the way 
[x] You have never been in a public elementary school, middle school, or high school during regular school hours (any or all of the above) 
[x] You have gone to or been involved in a homeschool convention 
Total so far: 17 

[x] You read books on a regular basis. 
[ ] You have taken part in a political protest 
[x] You were a Pride and Prejudice fan before the movie 
[x] You were a Lord of the Rings fan prior to the movie 
[x] You were a Chronicles of Narnia fan before the movie 
[ ] You speak a language other than English 
[ ] You dream of dating characters from books instead of celebrities 
Total so far: 21 

It is (has been) assumed that you:.... 
[ ] Have won many spelling bees 
[x] Have no social life 
[ ] Have no friends of the opposite gender 
[x] Are outstandingly smart 
[ ] Are extremely inept 
[ ] Only listen to classical music 
[ ] Play piano or the violin 
[ ] Do not own a pair of trendy jeans. 
[x] Have no knowledge of drugs or alcohol 
[ ] Don't date, only court. 
[x] Have never been to a "party" 
[x] Know no other beliefs other than what your family believes 
Total so far: 26 

You have been asked more than 10 times: 
[x] If you wear pajamas to school 
[ ] If you get perfect grades because your mom grades you 
[x] If your mom teaches you or if somebody else's mom does 
[x] How do you meet people 
[x] Why you aren't in school 
[x] If you get days off whenever you want 
[x] If you're going to be homeschooled through college 
[x] If you have a big family 
[x] What your parents are protecting you from 
[ ] To quote something famous 
[x] For the answer, because supposedly homeschoolers always have all the answers 
Total so far: 35 

You have rebelled by: 
[x] Listening to "worldly music" 
[x] Wearing black fingernail polish 
[x] Watching a *gasp* PG-13 movie 
[x] Listening to music with a beat (Christian or otherwise) 
[x] Dancing. Especially dances that involve contact for longer than 2 seconds. With somebody of the opposite gender. Scandalous!!! 
Total: 40 


1-10 You're not really a homeschooler...you just do school at home 
11-21 You're a homeschooler, but not what the world expects 
22-32 You're a homeschooler 
33-? You probably wouldn't have facebook to begin with...but congrats you're the stereotypical homeschooler 

There you have it. I am a stereotypical homeschooler.

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